Dave Strauss' Resume

This is the resume of Dave Strauss. Well, actually, this is the cover letter for the resume of Dave Strauss; the actual resumé is here.

I often get contacted by recruiters who have seen my resumé, either here or on one of the job sites, and think that my list of buzzwords matches up perfectly with their list of buzzwords, and wouldn't I like to take a chance-of-a-lifetime 6 month contract in Eastern Nebraska doing Java programming for an exciting but stable not-quite-a-startup company in the mobile device space? Before you do the same thing, please read the following list and make sure your opportunity is really something I'll be interested in; if it's not, I won't even bother to answer you since it will be clear that you're not really interested in me - you're just interested in my buzzwords. You have been warned!

• I am comfortable in my current job, so whatever opening you have would have to be really special to get me to go somewhere else.
  
  
• I am paid well for what I do; I've always been in the top percentiles for my position, grade and experience. You probably have access to better salary tables than I do, so you figure it out.
  
  
• I am not interested in relocating. If anything, I would rather work closer to home (Needham, MA) than I currently do.
  
  
• I am not interested in contract work unless it's the dream of a lifetime. I doubt very seriously your position is my dream of a lifetime. One exception - I might consider it if I could retire after 6 months work, but in that case it's probably illegal or extremely dangerous or both, so no thanks.
  
  
• No I will not send you a copy of my resumé at this time. You already know where it is. Yes it is up to date.